And in the End You Begin Again Tumblr

➵ Pairing: dad!taehyung x mom!reader

➵  Genre: angst, fluff, domestic, slice of life, exes au, boring fire, eventual smut

➵ Warnings: strong language, mature content.

➵ Word count: 7k

➵ Summary: after months of tension and conflict, you decide to put an end to your relationship with Taehyung, your fiancé and the male parent of your kids. Nevertheless, information technology's non all smooth sailing from in that location. You lot now face many challenges such every bit co-parenting and learning to adjust to this new chapter of your life. And as time goes on, yous're left wondering, did you make the right choice?

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Growing up, you e'er loved watching those sappy romance movies, e'er dreaming of the twenty-four hours yous would get to feel a love like that— though if you were honest, you never actually believed such things could happen in existent life. At least, not to you lot.

That was until you met Taehyung.

You met Taehyung when you turned nineteen and moved to Seoul with your mother. It was thanks to your long term friend, Jimin, who had moved there only a few years prior and had already became close friends with him. When yous arrived, he had been quick in talking to you most Taehyung, insisting you should run into him and that you two would get along really well. Information technology wouldn't do you whatsoever harm to meet new people and make friends anyhow, considering you had just moved and knew nobody— so, naturally you agreed.

But what y'all hadn't expected was Taehyung to be and then strikingly beautiful. Alpine, flawless golden skin paired with precipitous and symmetrical features, notwithstanding somehow still young and adolescent looking. Fluffy brown pilus that gave you lot the irresistible urge to run your hands through it, falling perfectly over nighttime, prominent brows. You still retrieve the shiver you lot felt down your spine when you first looked in his nighttime intimidating eyes, a burning stare you lot swore could pierce straight through your soul. But ended up taken ashamed instantly when he greeted you lot with a radiantly warm smiling, his gaze turning much softer and gentle, almost celestial. Making butterflies swarm your stomach in a style you'd never felt before. And it was then, you became sure you'd never prepare eyes on a more than captivating human.

You quickly came to realize Jimin wasn't wrong, yous both clicked right away and had an almost instant connection that night. And after hanging out multiple times afterwards, y'all soon realized you liked Taehyung for so much more than than only his handsome face. He was the most charming and loving person you had always met, in every sense. And to your amazement, Taehyung had fallen for you just as hard. Therefore, just four months downward the line, you were already in an official human relationship.

Dating Taehyung had been similar something out of those sappy movies you had so passionately grown to hate, but even improve. You were both drowning in love — so irreparably lovesick to the bespeak y'all became inseparable, spending every gratuitous moment you had together. But then, just two years into your flourishing relationship, you lot were surprised with hugely unexpected news.

You were pregnant.

Information technology had come equally an immense shock to you lot both. Yous had cried yourself to sleep the entire night before telling your boyfriend, unsure of what his reaction would be. Y'all were still so immature and unprepared. But despite the initial shock, Taehyung was cipher only loving and supportive, more than you could have ever imagined. Reassuring you lot everything would work out, and that he would never leave your side, non over this. Not over anything. And promised he would exist with yous every pace of the way.

Merely naturally, y'all were scared, as was Taehyung. As opposed to you, what scared him most was breaking the news to his parents. He knew they wouldn't be happy about the fact their single son was going to be a begetter at but twenty two. But particularly, what would bother them near was that it was you who he was having a kid with.

Taehyung's parents had never directly been hateful to you, or rude per se. But it was obvious that they were non besides fond of you either, never actually viewed yous equally the person their son would end upwards marrying and spending the rest of his life with— e'er thought he could do improve. They merely viewed y'all equally a meaningless girlfriend, one he would eventually function means with to observe a better girl to marry and settle downwardly with. Preferably from a rich family.

You would never acknowledge it out loud, but it hurt you much more than you e'er let on. It was articulate that they would never fully accept you. Taehyung knew that too.

Breaking the news to them was worse than y'all both could have anticipated. Taehyung's father was furious, threatened he would kick him out of the family business unless he left y'all. His mother cried for hours telling him he had ruined his life. That his reckless deportment now not just gave him, but his unabridged family a terrible paradigm.

Taehyung had always tried his all-time to proceed his parents happy. Had fifty-fifty given up his own dreams to work for his begetter'south company instead. To follow in his footsteps, but how he'd always been expected to. He did anything to delight them and make them proud. But it came with extreme injure when he realized it was all for aught. That going to be a father to a child somehow fabricated him dishonorable in his family's optics.

By the fourth dimension your baby girl was built-in, things had blown over. She was perfect. You both brutal so in dear with her. She brought a new sense of joy to your lives that you'd never experienced before. And your bond and relationship with Taehyung only grew stronger. You moved into your new dwelling house together and were and then happy. Yous loved your little family.

Taehyung'southward father kept nagging at him to propose to you, going on about how being unmarried at present that the baby was born was extremely detrimental to the family's paradigm. His male parent had finally come to terms with the fact that he most likely wasn't going to leave you lot, not now that you had a kid together. So he had no other pick merely to accept it.

Still, Taehyung didn't desire to propose just because it felt like an obligation, considering his father and anybody around him expected him to. He wanted to do it on his own terms. Yous both knew you loved each other and never felt the demand to get married correct away to show information technology.

Almost a twelvemonth afterward, Taehyung proposed to you. Y'all didn't make plans to get married right away, life was far too busy with both of you working full fourth dimension jobs and taking care of your daughter, then you put information technology off until you could find some time to start fit information technology in and brainstorm planning for it, at that place was no rush.

All the same, just some other year afterwards, you found out you were significant again. It was as much of a surprise equally it was the first time. At the time you found out, your relationship with Taehyung wasn't as amazing and wonderful equally it had been before. You both argued a lot more. Didn't become to spend as much time together because of Taehyung'southward extremely busy schedule — which only led to more falling outs. Yet you were both happy about the news and excited to expand the family yous made together.

Things between you lot got a bit better after finding out the news, but throughout the pregnancy you would still argue, and it simply became more consistent over time. You secretly just blamed it on the crazy hormones. That they were probably the reason why you were always so moody and sensitive, and more than likely overreacting.

The truth was yous just didn't want to face the fact that your human relationship with Taehyung was starting to crumble. Peculiarly non when you were expecting your 2nd child together. So y'all would put the thoughts away, hoping it would all get ameliorate with time and once the infant arrived.

It never did.

Months later your second baby was born, and after 6 years of existence together, things were far worse than you ever expected.

"Wait at me when I'm talking to you!" Your voice echoes in a desperate plea from where you stand beyond from Taehyung, who'southward sitting at the edge of your bed, seemingly paying more than attention to whatever he'due south looking at on his phone than to the words you yell at him.

Letting out a deep exhale, yous already feel a well known frustration fiercely growing due to his irritating antics and indifference. Deciding and then to close the bedroom door behind you earlier your voices get any louder— knowing already they definitely volition.

"I already told you lot I was decorated catching upward on some work y/due north, I lost track of time alright!" Taehyung finally snaps, tone harsh and brows furrowed in annoyance as he throws his phone onto the bed behind him, non really caring where it lands.

Y'all scoff humorously equally he fixes you with a cold glare. "Of form you lot did, It's alwayspiece of work with you."

"Are yous being serious? All of this shit, considering I forgot to call you," he sneers, shaking his head before pushing a hand through his dark locks.

Y'all blink bemusedly at his tone, reeling back at the fact he has the audacity to be pissed off at you.

Unbelievable.

It'due south a Mon nighttime, and you lot're well aware Monday'due south mean he works until afterward than usual. Would rarely e'er be habitation before nine, sometimes only just making it back in time to say goodnight to your kids. It wasn't surprising. But naturally, you had grown worried when yous checked the time, only to realize it had run way past that time and y'all hadn't fifty-fifty received a single text or call from him.

Notwithstanding, when he finally stepped through the door of your dwelling just half an hour ago, y'all were furious. Seething at how he hadn't even cared in the least to allow you know of his whereabouts, and had instead left you up worrying and wondering if something had happened to him on the fashion home. But it'south not like your pride would allow you lot to admit that part though.

"What- so y'all think this is okay? It'due south almost one the morning and you only got dorsum!" you argue, fists clenched tightly at your sides as you accept a step towards him— adamant on standing your basis. But he doesn't react. But stares right back, shooting daggers at you through his dark eyes. "The least you could practice is text me and allow me know!"

"Then what? Suddenly you act similar you care?" He scoffs, shaking his head equally he turns away, walking over to toss his previously discarded necktie on the dresser. "I don't understand you."

What you want to say is that you really don't fucking care, only you lot're not certain it would audio disarming. So you bite your natural language on that.

"What is it that you don't understand, huh?" your patience is at present running thin, that'southward if y'all even accept any left in you at all. Though it'due south nothing new. Yous've long become accepted to feeling this style around him. "Please tell me what'southward so fucking hard to empathize nearly what I'm maxim!"

"Keep your voice down you're going to wake upwardly the kids," he grimaces through gritted teeth. Trying not to raise his voice more than than necessary, but from the looks of information technology he'south struggling as much as you.

He actually has the nerve,God.

"You say that like y'all weren't shouting just minutes ago!"

"Y'all're the i screaming always since I set human foot through that damn door," he gestures angrily, pointing an accusatory finger at you, muttering a expletive nether his breath as he turns away.

Living with Taehyung has become a living nightmare, putting it lightly.

For months now information technology'southward similar all yous know to practise is fight over the stupidest things. It couldn't be helped, nearly every chat, no matter how insignificant ever somehow led to a fight.

Small, piddling arguments always spiraling into something much bigger. Leaving you both biting towards each other for days, sometimes non even exchanging a single discussion during an unabridged day — creating a tense atmosphere in your home that was capable of having anyone on border.

You don't fifty-fifty human action like a couple anymore. You've turned into mere strangers living under the same roof, ignoring the fact that your relationship is on the rocks. Just information technology's only getting harder and harder to ignore.

"You know what-, I'm so fucking tired Taehyung," you exasperate, brushing your pilus back brashly, the loose strands falling in forepart of your eyes but irritating you further.

Taehyung remains silent, his jaw clenched tightly and his dark optics simmering with rage. It'southward non the starting time fourth dimension he'southward heard this.

"I'g tired of this- all yous do is work, and when you're not working, this is what we're doing!" Your concluding drop of patience evaporates into thin air, and you're forced to swallow the sudden lump forming in your pharynx. "Fuck, I-I'grand and then tired-"

Why practice yous accept to go emotional correct now?

"I'm so done with this. It can't keep upwards. Can't you see it?" You weep out, "god, Taehyung I tin can't fucking stand y'all anymore!"

You of a sudden feel choked up, your throat tight as you endeavour hard to fight away the ascension tears in your optics. And maybe it isn't solely out of acrimony this fourth dimension, but all the pent upwardly emotions you've been burying nether the surface — not wanting to testify Taehyung how injure you truly were, how much your aging human relationship was truly affecting you lot and had been for months now.

Y'all are exhausted. In every sense — mentally, physically and emotionally. The constant conflict with the man definitely took a toll on you. Information technology sucked all energy correct out of you on a daily ground. The little energy you even had left to keep this going. And lately it really had you thinking — why do you notwithstanding keeping it going?

Simply just a moment later you see Taehyung'south scowl disappear, his features softening significantly as he glances behind you lot towards the now open door of your bedroom. And for a carve up second you think your words stung him, and you're surprised since he never seems fazed.

But when his eyes grow wider and you turn around…

Your heart sinks instantly at the sight of your 3 yr old daughter standing in the doorway with tears rolling down her cheeks. She's holding her favorite little tiger plushie Taehyung bought for her as a babe tightly nether her arm, rubbing her eye with the sleeve of her wrinkly pink pajamas.

She looks up at you both doubtfully with big glossy eyes. Letting out a small sob as her parents eyes finally land on her.

You're momentarily frozen in your spot, non expecting the image before you lot. You had both been and so immersed in the arguing you didn't even hear the door opening.

How long had she been there? How much had she heard? Oh god.

You feel your stomach drop as a wave of anxiety quickly swallows you and before you take time to react, Taehyung glares at yous disdainfully before brushing past you as he quickly walks towards his daughter, crouching downward to her level.

"Eunah, what's wrong baby?" he picks her upward immediately, wrapping her pocket-size frame up in his arms and holding her tightly to his breast — her tears dampening the soft material of his plain white t-shirt only he doesn't mind.

"Did mommy and daddy wake you?" he whispers, his voice at present soft and gentle— the complete opposite of what it had been just minutes agone. He wipes her tears away with his thumb and tilts his caput to get a amend expect at the daughter's face, but she only nuzzles into the crook of his neck and nods in response. Wrapping her small arms tightly around his neck.

The sight causes your heart to ache, actual physical hurting shooting to your chest. Information technology'south plenty to reduce you to tears. Just you won't cry — non now, not in front of her.

You experience atrocious. No, yous feel like shit. An unbearable amount of guilt and hurt taking over your body.

What kind of a mother were you? One that fabricated her children cry? Yous hated knowing you were the reason your daughter was upset, that you had disrupted her when she should be peacefully sleeping. The mode she was when you kissed her goodnight subsequently reading her to sleep.

Yous feel angry at yourself for not being more careful. For not decision-making your emotions amend. Angry at Taehyung, for making you so furious. Why did y'all let him to rile you up to such extent every single time?

"We're distressing infant. It's okay, daddy's got you," he places multiple kisses on her messy bedhead, rubbing her dorsum soothingly in hopes of settling her.

He shoots you a look at you for a moment. and you know exactly what that wait ways. Information technology'southward an "I told you so" of sorts. Of class hewants to pin the blame on y'all now. It's always your error. But you're not going to allow him blame you for this. Non when he's simply as guilty as you.

You refuse to lookout man the sight before you whatever longer — tin't comport listening to her sorrowful cries. Yous need to hold your baby. Comfort her and make her feel better again.

"Here requite her to me," yous tell him and he carefully hands her over to you. The pocket-size daughter doesn't mutter, just snuggles right into you, taking in your familiar smell as you sit downwardly on the bed, holding her in your artillery.

"Eunah, sweetheart. I'm sorry, we didn't hateful to wake you upwards."

You place kisses on her soft tear stained cheeks as she looks upwards at you lot, and god, how you wish she didn't. Yous bite your lip in order to agree back the tears that are now ready to burst out of you. Her glassy optics, even so shedding tears and quivering lips looking straight at you are enough to make your heart shatter into even tinier pieces. Yous pull her back towards your chest once more, resting your mentum on her head before planting kiss subsequently buss on her silky hair.

She cries quietly in your arms, biting on her thumb. She had a habit of doing and so whenever she'southward upset or crying and you and Taehyung take been trying so hard to go her to end. Always telling her she had to break the habit because she was now a big girl. But right now, you permit information technology.

Taehyung stands to the side, eyes fixated on his daughter with a defeated look on his face. You lot know he'southward feeling just as guilty as you are. He hates seeing his infant upset like this.

You lot feel the mattress dip beneath you every bit he sits on the bed with a heavy sigh, keeping some altitude between you both.

There is definitely an uncomfortable sense of tension in the air. Like you're both silently blaming each other for the current situation you find yourselves in. Wanting to speak upwards and say things but knowing better than to make the situation worse by further disrupting your kid. Obviously neither of yous want that. So for the moment, you both ignore whatever is lingering and focus on what matters most,. Which is the little girl currently wrapped upwards in your arms.

As soon as she takes notice of her dad sitting close by, she reaches out for him with grabby hands, whining to get his attention.

You lot don't desire to allow her get. Non until you know for a fact she's alright. And you know it's stupid, but it hurts a little that she tries to get out of your encompass. But obviously, you aren't going to take it personally. She hasn't seen him for the whole solar day. Not fifty-fifty before bed like she is used to. And yous know she has been missed him because she told you so all day. She'due south always been a daddy's girl after all.

Y'all hand her back over and he embraces her in his arms one time once again, rocking her gently as she cries, more simply quiet sobs and hiccups than actual tears at present.

"Yah," he coos, "babe, why are you lot still crying? It'due south okay, everything is okay." Taehyung lets out a little forced chuckle in an attempt to lighten the mood as he bounces her gently in his arms, wanting nothing more than to run into her little smile and hear her giggle the way she always does.

Eunah is a potent picayune girl, even at just three years old. She has and then much personality. She'south loud, bubbly and sometimes a trivial too sassy. She wasn't ane to let anyone boss her effectually, that's for certain— which could brand her hard at times. Simply she could also exist very sensitive and emotional. Always caring for those around her.

"You and mommy aroused," she says with a pout, her voice modest and soft as she pokes her father'southward chest with her small stubby finger. Making him stiffen. His now slight panicked expression giving away that he was non expecting those words from her. He opens his mouth, then speedily closes it, non knowing what to say.

"Baby, mommy and daddy were only talking a chip loudly," you jump in, reaching for her lilliputian arm and giving it a gentle squeeze. You blench at yourself for lying to her, and for saying just a pathetic lie at that. Your daughter is 3, but she definitely isn't stupid.

"Don't like information technology." she mumbles.

It injure. Felt like a jab to your already aching heart.

You clasp her hand a little tighter. Holding it close and placing a kiss on it.

"I know baby. We're sorry."

It isn't until afterward a few long minutes of Taehyung quietly comforting her, she finally stops her tears. Her eyes drifting shut as she fought to stay awake.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed," he whispers, standing up slowly with the girl in his arms, trying not to startle her.

"No!" she cries, all of a sudden awake and alarm, shaking her head vigorously whilst yet hiccupping a piddling from her sobs. She reaches out for you with her arms, and you immediately stand up, holding her pocket-sized easily in yours once again while giving her a reassuring smile. Ignoring how the proximity to Taehyung makes y'all experience unsettled.

He tilts his head to wait at her. "What, why not? I know yous're sleepy," he says, his voice gentle.

"Sleep here," she pouts, pointing over her fathers shoulder to your bed.

You certainly didn't programme on sharing the bed with Taehyung this evening. Especially not afterward everything that happened today. You were even so pissed off. Sure, Eunah walking in had definitely shaken you both up, making yous come up back to your senses a bit and stop arguing. For her sake mostly. Merely the truth is, that if that had not happened you would both more than likely still be in each other'southward faces, shouting annihilation just kind words.

But if it means your daughter volition be happy and then y'all can bring yourself to do it, particularly afterward upsetting her like that. She needs condolement and you are going to give her simply that. You want her to experience safety and loved, non upset and scared the way she was just before.

Yous give Taehyung a discreet nod, letting him know that information technology's okay.

"Okay and then, yous can sleep with us tonight. But just tonight, okay?" he kisses her nose, finally making her giggle as she nods, her puffy eyes turning into little crescent moons and her niggling boxy smile she definitely got from her begetter lights up her face.

You lot feel relief when you finally hear her laugh again. To see her unabridged face light upwards with joy as she excitedly throws her arms effectually her begetter's neck, jumping in excitement.

Where did she even get all the sudden energy from? You always discover it amusing merely how speedily the mood of a 3 year old can change, making yous unconsciously smile.

If anything could bring a 18-carat smile to your face these days, it was definitely your babies.

Taehyung puts her downwards on the bed and she quickly crawls her manner under the covers, snuggling her stuffed animal. He gets in beside her, wrapping his arms around her and she nuzzles her confront into his chest. He strokes her temple close to her hairline in soothing piddling circles, something he always did to aid her slumber ever since she was just a minor baby. It never failed.

"Mommy?" her minor voice brakes the silence in the room, pulling you lot from your thoughts. "Mommy, come here with me." she pleads, patting the empty space side by side to her and looking at you expectantly with her large brown eyes.

Taehyung tilts his head, gesturing to your empty side of the bed, as if telling y'all to just do it, for her sake. And yous would, you would do annihilation for her to exist happy. Just you hated pretending, Having to pretend everything was okay. That you and Taehyung were happy. Because you both knew that you lot were far from information technology. Y'all could no longer hibernate and put abroad your feelings also as you did when it had all begun.

You would do anything for your daughter, anything for your kids. Yous would practise anything to see her smile brightly in that way of hers that made everyone's eye melt. But y'all simply wish you didn't have to pretend. That yous wouldn't accept to fake smiles at your partner in lodge to keep her happy. You wish you lot could notice happiness in the idea of spending the dark cuddled up next to her and Taehyung, the style you once did. But right now, the idea of being anywhere about Taehyung just made your heart ache. It made y'all feel so cold inside. You hated beingness reminded of how much you lot had grown apart from the man yous once adored.

Y'all tin't be then shut to Taehyung right now. You can't, It's too much. You demand some time to yourself.

"I'm going to check on your brother first and brand sure he's okay. I'll be dorsum soon, try to sleep okay baby? I love you lot." You lot place a kiss on her forehead and she simply nods, getting comfortable in her begetter'south artillery. Luckily, sleepiness seems to take over apace plenty and her optics flutter shut.

You make your mode downward the corridor and walk into the next room. It's dark, nix merely the niggling amount of low-cal coming through the crack of the partly opened door illuminating the small-scale space.

You walk over to the crib at the back of the room. You look over it, finding your seven calendar month old son sleeping peacefully. How he hadn't woken up is beyond you but you're simply thankful he didn't. He had finally settled into a skillful sleeping pattern, hardly waking up during the nighttime anymore, which had resulted in him existence much happier during the day.

Yous sentinel him fondly, reaching out to cuddle his cheek with the back of your finger. He is so beautiful. Soft chubby cheeks, small pouty lips and long lashes. So modest and innocent.

You lot of a sudden feel a pang of guilt arising in your chest.

He doesn't deserve this. Eunah doesn't deserve this. You retrieve back to the moment you start found out you were going to be a female parent. You promised yourself then yous would always make certain your little ones were happy. That nix would e'er take that abroad from them. You wanted them to grow upwards in a loving household, different y'all had. You know amend than anyone what it felt similar to abound up in that kind of environs.

And right at present, yous wouldn't particularly call your home a loving household. Eunah and Minjun were unquestionably loved. If there was anything at all you and Taehyung still had in common, notwithstanding shared, it was the love for those children. You loved them more annihilation else, as did their father. At that place was no dubiousness nigh that.

The problem was with you and Taehyung. You two where the ones lacking dear from each other.

You walk over to the other side of the room and support against the wall, you slide down until you're saturday on the wooden floor. Y'all bring your knees to your breast and wrap your artillery tightly around your legs. Yous feel the tears well up in your eyes once again with a huge urge to intermission down, then this time you finally let get, feeling the tears y'all had been belongings back finally roll down your cheeks and you sniffle into your hand, trying to muffle any sound.

You reached your breaking point, it was inevitable, correct? There'southward just and so much you could take before you broke down. And today was enough to ship yous over your limit.

When had things gone and then wrong? When did you lot and Taehyung stop being happy with i another? To the point your children were getting injure because of it?

You both always tried your best to avoid fighting in front of Eunah and Minjun. Mostly now that your girl was sometime enough to somewhat understand what was being said and pick upwards on things a lot easier than before.

But with how oftentimes you fought, no matter how hard y'all tried not to. She inevitably caught on a couple of times. Looking at the both of you with a frown and big puppy optics until yous would notice her, and immediately stop. Reassuring her that everything was fine, just this fourth dimension. Information technology didn't feel fine.

Fifty-fifty Minjun as a small baby could sense the tension between the both of y'all. Sometimes he would exist happy the unabridged 24-hour interval, but as soon as Taehyung got back from work. His mood would shift. You always felt tense and stressed around the man. And y'all were most certain Minjun would pick upwardly on it and it was the reason for his sudden crying and modify in behavior.

He was just seven months former just in his brusque life you weren't sure if he'd ever witnessed love and affection between his parents. Maybe the mean solar day he was born, and a few weeks subsequently that, just and then it vanished for skilful.

You lot notwithstanding recollect the happiness you felt that twenty-four hours. The love yous felt for the homo that stood beside your hospital bed, holding your hand tightly the entire fourth dimension and whispering comforting and loving words in your ear, kissing y'all and telling you how much he loved you.

Things take changed a lot since so. It was only seven months ago. Yet it feels like a lifetime since you felt that kind of joy or dearest. You struggled to picture the human on the other side of the wall as the Taehyung you had fallen so madly in love with — the same Taehyung you'd met all those years ago and that used to make you feel like the happiest girl on the planet.

Nowadays you but experience so…incompatible.

You replay every statement, every harsh word exchanged and every unkind gesture in your caput. Filling your mind with questions and thoughts.

Do you even dear him? Does he love you? Possibly the love was gone. It happened to people all the time. So surely it could've happened to you. Right?

Maybe yous grew apart? Had grown to dislike each other. Everything you said to one another just seemed to be said with the intention to annoy or hurt, to spite the other until they exploded.

All you know is that whatever the reason may exist, it doesn't alter the fact that your relationship is not salubrious anymore. For anyone. Simply growing more unpleasant with time.

Your raging thoughts just fuel feelings of anger, thwarting and shame, making your eyes sting with new unshed tears, your breast feeling tight as you endeavour to remain silent.

Y'all throw your head back confronting the wall, tears violently pouring downwards your face up. So you decide correct then and there. Plenty is enough.

Nigh xl minutes passed notwithstanding you remained in the same spot, not really wanting to go back to where Taehyung was. You feel wrong for not going back to your daughter, simply y'all know she was too exhausted to even notice your absence.

You needed space. Specifically from him.

Merely that's when you hear footsteps getting closer in the corridor.

"Eunah is asleep now, you can go to bed. I'll sleep on the sofa." came Taehyung's deep voice.

Information technology wasn't rare for him to do and so. Most nights you would be so pissed off at each other yous couldn't stand spending the night in the same room — or the same bed.

You look up from your cooped up position to face up his towering figure every bit he leans against the door. Dammit. Tin't he just leave you lot alone? Y'all thought he would be asleep by now.

You quickly wipe away your tears, faking a cough in an effort to articulate your throat. You lot don't want to speak, don't want him to know you've been crying.

"No, stay in the room with her. She volition be upset if she wakes upwards and yous're not there." y'all manage. If he notices the strain in your voice he doesn't show it. He merely sighs securely, taking a await around the room, as if it would help him out with what to say. Somewhen, he settles his gaze back on you.

"Well, what are yous doing there on the floor? Become to bed." he says flatly later seconds of silence.

You remain quiet. Just hoping he would go abroad, you didn't desire to be close to him right now. It felt…strange. Nigh bad-mannered.

Merely he doesn't go out. You can run across he's hesitant, simply walks into the room anyway, going upwards to your sons crib. He leans over it, checking on Minjun, gently pushing some of his hair to the side and away from his eyes.

He seems like he calmed down from your previous argument just a while ago, simply the tension is still very much present. The words you said yet linger in your mind.

"So are we just going to ignore what happened?" you question, deciding to intermission the silence in the room to vocalization your idea.

A strained silence follows. He doesn't say annihilation, only yous discover the way his torso tenses at the words and how he averts his gaze elsewhere, avoiding yours.

"Tae-taehyung," y'all have a deep breath, feeling your heart suddenly beating a lot faster than before. The room is so silent you lot are afraid he might hear it. "I tin't do this anymore." Y'all finally look up at him, struggling to make out his expression in the barely lit room.

You accept to practise it. Why postpone it any longer?

He takes a footstep back, turning to face up you. "What do y'all mean?" he asks, a slight furrow to his brow. Even though you know he knows exactly what you hateful.

"This can't continue, it's pain them," You bite your lower lip, hoping it would stop it'southward sudden trembling.

He sighs, running a hand through his dark locks as he takes a seat on the nursing chair next to Minjun's crib, right across from you. He rests his elbows on his knees and covers his face up with his palms as he rubs his face up. He looks caught up in his thoughts. Merely you can't tell what he's thinking. You lot can't read him like you used to. Non anymore.

"I know-" he begins, finally revealing his face. Simply his gaze stays fixated on the basis.

"No, I'm serious. It has to stop," you cut him off. Trying to talk equally quietly as you can as to not wake your baby in the room.

"We…demand to separate. I don't think we should exist together anymore." you say, and yous hate the way your voice shakes near the end. The manner y'all must await so vulnerable and weak.

Taehyung looks slightly taken ashamed by your statement, sitting up straight and lifting his gaze to look in your direction.

He let out a breathy chuckle "What, are you serious?" he speaks quietly, and you catch the hint of amusement in his tone. Just making anger slowly ascend in you again. Why couldn't he but accept you seriously?

But you decide to ignore information technology. Biting the within of your cheek.

"It's what's best for them. And for us." You land. Not daring to look him in the face. Your eyes landing on your band finger. The shiny diamond staring dorsum at you near tauntingly and you accept to pull your sleeve over information technology.

He stands from the chair. "Look, I'grand too tired to bargain with-"

"No, Taehyung. Listen to me! I am ill and tired of this! We can't but go along ignoring what's happening. This has to end." yous say, jumping to your anxiety.

You feel yourself getting very agitated once more. Your torso starts to shake, simply y'all're non sure if it's from acrimony or fretfulness. Probably both. You just want to get this over with. You lot have to.

Fuck. Where was all this sudden courage even coming from? You're shocked. In a style, yous are grateful for it. You're taking it equally a sign. You never saw yourself capable of doing this. To finally put an end to this…misery. Never felt brave plenty, peradventure. But y'all had to. It needed to be done. It's never been more clear to y'all than at this moment.

For Eunah and Minjun, for yourself…and for Taehyung himself fifty-fifty.

It had to terminate. Yous couldn't proceed tiptoeing around each other all the time, hoping the other wouldn't lash out over something. Arguing every unmarried day. Information technology had been going on for besides long . Taehyung always came back from work stressed and tired, even so common cold and afar from whatever previous dispute you had. Yous don't want to cry yourself to slumber anymore, wondering if things volition always plough back to the manner they were. In a bed next to a man that now felt similar a stranger.

You can't even think the concluding time you kissed, the last time y'all touched each other, fabricated love, fell comatose in each other's arms. Yous can't remember the terminal fourth dimension you lot had a nice conversation together, laughed until you were both in tears, stayed up watching movies until yous savage comatose and he would behave you to bed.

You'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt. To but watch your relationship crumble before your optics. Burn and turn to ashes that would soon blow away. That's why you put it off from the start, ignoring it until it would go away somehow.

Yous're not going to ignore it a minute longer.

"You don't recollect I'thousand tired as well?" he replies, his tone harsh.

"Well then! That'due south information technology. I'yard glad we concur. Since you're so fucking tired allow's end this." you permit out, your vocalization coming out louder than you intended due to your annoyance. And you lot instantly regret it when Minjun shifts and squirms a little at the noise, letting out a small whimper. And oh my god. Are you seriously going to practise it once again?

You both sprint your eyes over to his crib almost simultaneously, staying as silent as possible. And luckily, he doesn't wake up.

"You're fucking unbelievable," Taehyung hisses. And yous storm out of the room heading towards the living space, new tears brimming in your optics again.

It wasn't smart to start that discussion in his room in the first place, non when yous know how easily and how rapidly y'all lose control of your atmosphere with the human being. But you can't assist but feel miserable about how you almost ended upwards waking upwardly your son also.

But seconds subsequently he leaves the room, endmost the door as quietly as possible and following afterward you.

"Can you keep it downward? y'all nearly woke him." he points out, his tone accusatory as if you didn't fucking know.

And information technology merely makes you seethe because the last thing yous need is him throwing information technology in your face up.

"Of course, I'grand always the bad parent." y'all snap, a single tear rolling down your face. And you know you sound lilliputian, but y'all couldn't intendance less.

"Don't fucking put words in my mouth, y/n. Jesus christ." he says exasperatedly, scoffing as he turns away from you, putting his hands on his hips.

"I-i don't want this anymore. Information technology's over between the states." you lot cry, no longer holding back the tears.

Taehyung falters.

It fucking hurts to say out loud, and y'all don't understand why information technology suddenly pains yous to see Taehyungs solemn await.

Yous watch his shoulders drop as he lets out a deep breath. "Is that what you want?" he says, his phonation much quieter, but tone nevertheless laced with annoyance.

Y'all hesitate for only a second. "Yes." you state. It's what you want. Of course information technology is. "It's what you lot want also, correct?" you add.

His expression somewhat softens. "Due north-no. Why would I want this, for Eunah and Minjun."

And that to you is a small confirmation that the only reason you lot were still in this relationship was because of the simply matter tying you lot together, your children. Why else would y'all take both put upward with it until now? He no longer felt happy in this human relationship. You could encounter that. No longer wanted to be with you either. The only reason yous stayed together was for them.

But there was no point anymore, not when it's starting to affect them negatively.

"Considering It'southward what's best for them." you lot respond flatly, sniffling.

He furrows his brows, his expression turning murderous. "How is that what'due south fucking all-time for them?" he yells.

"Oh so you lot desire them to grow up like this? Surrounded by all t-this bullshit? Thinking this is what love is?" your eyes wide as you raise your brows questioningly. How could he not see it? Did he not empathise information technology would only go worse? Did he not care for their feelings?

"Parents are supposed to love each other, Taehyung. And if they don't then they shouldn't be together!" you're shaking. Y'all know where this is going and you're not sure if you're gear up. Just you lot have no pick.

Taehyung but scoffs, shaking his caput in atheism.

"If you didn't outset shit every time I go home possibly-"

"Let me remind you lot that you where the one that got hither at most ane in the morning! Dare I say a give-and-take about that."

"What don't you understand about me being busy. Do y'all have any idea how much fucking work I exercise?" he snaps, loud and aggressive.

It was pointless. There was no mode. You would always get back to square one. Why was he even changing the subject area?

"You know what, I'm fucking leaving." y'all say, turning around and storming into the kitchen.

You weren't going to put upwardly with this, you lot simply couldn't. Information technology was only going to go worse if yous didn't stop it right now. And you simply tin't handle it.

Your ears are ringing and y'all feel like y'all could faint, and so you lot lean on the kitchen counter for back up. Closing your eyes for a brief second before you await around for your bag. You swore yous left it hither somewhere.

Yous hear Taehyung's phonation equally he follows right behind you.

"W-what? Where are yous going?" He looks taken aback by your sudden actions. A puzzled frown on his face as he watches you search for your things.

"I'm taking Eunah and Minjun to my mom'south," you say, finally finding your bag and heading towards the corridor. Maybe you're being irrational. Merely yous can't recollect straight right at present. Y'all but need to get away from Taehyung, his presence is enough to brand your head throb.

"No yous're not. Are yous insane? You lot're not taking them anywhere, not now." He says, almost out of breath, looking slightly panicked.

"Why can't you face it Taehyung?" you plow to face up him, tears now running down your face, called-for your cheeks.

"I'm not happy! I haven't been fucking happy for months."

Taehyung seems frozen in his spot. There's no longer whatever harshness to his features. His face almost expressionless just you lot tin't help but notice he somehow looks somewhat abashed.

"Eunah and Minjun don't deserve this," you manage to get out. You're full on sobbing at present, no longer caring Taehyung is right in forepart of you, "They shouldn't take to sentinel their parents fight like this-" and you have to stop to etch yourself. Y'all tin barely get the words out with how choked up you are.

"I'll go out." he says, and then quietly you almost miss it. Not giving you time to keep as he turns away from you.

You lot open your mouth to speak merely close information technology immediately when you discover yous can't form any words.

Y'all stand however, blinking your blurry eyes profusely as you watch him collect his motorcar keys and wallet from the kitchen counter. He does information technology slowly, well-nigh similar he's giving it a second thought.

All of a sudden, you feel panicked. It's similar a flip switches in your head and y'all go the sudden urge to tell him not to leave, to stay. Where would he even go? When is he coming back? Volition he be coming dorsum? But…did you lot even desire him to?

Without fifty-fifty a glance back in your management, he grabs his glaze, puts on his shoes and leaves.

The door slams shut and he's gone.

✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*. * .✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.* .✫*

a/north: It's hither! (took me long enough I know) this is the very get-go thing I've written in a long time so I am extremely rusty. anyway, this chapter was more often than not a scrap of backstory and whatnot so next chapters volition hopefully exist meliorate, I promise. I hope you lot savour it! 🤧👀

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Source: https://kookiestarlight.tumblr.com/post/629394265129336832/begin-again-01-kth

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